As a little girl, I was terrified of two things. Being alone & darkness.
I would always make sure I had a night light on before going to bed. Pure darkness was full of things I couldn't see.
Growing up, I felt a constant need to be around people. Church camps, youth rallies, school functions, I would put myself in the mists of anyone and everyone. I didn't care how old they were or who they were.
I would somehow make a conversation out of nothing. Of course, not everyone exactly acted interested in my outgoing personality.
It would bug me, that not everyone liked me. Because, if they didn't like me, that means there could be more people who just would be kind to my face.
13 year old me was starving for friendships.
I found myself being the same way all through high school.
I just love people.
This last year, I've been working full time. Unintentionally, I have distanced myself from most of the social groups. I've never been this "alone".
I always thought I needed hundreds of friends, but I realize now that I need about four close people by my side.
Am I saying having a lot of friends is bad? No.
I am saying you can't count on everyone for everything.
I wish I could go back to 13 year old me, and ask her what she was so afraid of.
Why did the loneliness sound so horrible?
We live in a era where relationships and friendships are blasted everywhere.
Companionship is shoved down our throats.
You cannot be with someone else until you can be with yourself.
There is a time and season for every person in our lives.
Sometimes we are fighting to keep people that were only meant for a season, let them go.
I have found that you can never go wrong investing in yourself and your relationship with God. I am growing more everyday. Creating a deeper, more personal relationship with Him.
For we are never truly alone. God will always be there with us.
In your loneliness, in your pain, and in your confusion.
You can be "alone" with God, and be okay. Better than okay.
If you're looking for validation in companionship or social media, you will be disappointed.
Get "alone" with the One who has created you. You'll find rest and peace there.
Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. - Deuteronomy 31:6