It has been awhile since I've written a blog. So, I really wanted this one to be personal and from my heart. Which is why, I'm using my own picture.
I have a serious problem with always wanting everything to happen in certain way. I would actually get really upset if just one thing was not the way I wanted, or if it didn't happen in the span of time I thought it should.
It's caused me problems, not only emotionally, but in my relationships. It's made me moody about the little things.
Expectations. They can be dangerous.
I believe that God gives us dreams for a reason, but it is when we get stuck in our own heads that we stop seeing the big picture.
It can cause anxiety. Fear.
Even writing this, I feel like I'm just talking to myself.
Controlling a situation that is out of your hands is like trying to grab onto wind. You become flustered, exhausted, and angry.
The only way that I have found to stop it, is a constant prayer.
I had to humble myself and admit that I do not always know what's best.
Not only do I try to control situations, but I also try and control time.
Yes. Time. I'm a very 'right now' person. If I want something to happen, usually I think I can snap my fingers and it will happen. (Kinda like a Disney movie, even though it sounds crazy)
But, pretty much all the time, I am disappointed to come to the conclusion that I do not have magic powers and not everything can happen on MY timeline.
Shocking.
Over the last two months, I've really focused on why I feel the constant need to control time and situations.
Anytime I feel myself starting to panic, I have to say to myself, "Okay, Jen. Pull it together. Give it to God. You don't have the power. He does."
Sounds insane, but reminding myself who The Almighty is always brings me back down to Earth.
It's a constant process. It hasn't happened overnight, and honestly I still struggle with it. But, I am seeing a change in my mindset. Slowly and surely.
God is teaching me how important it is to have complete faith and trust in His ways.
His way and time is not always the same as ours. Rarely it is.
Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. - Psalms 37:5